I Don't Want F.O.P., Godammit! I'm a Dapper Dan Man!

Branding is the great triumph of monopoly capitalism, but no where is its influence more obvious than in the field of personal hygiene. For example, "Kleenex" is used as a synecdoche for the larger field of facial tissue in general, just as "Q-Tip" is for cotton swab and "Band-Aid" is for adhesive bandage. In fact, it is hard to think of any one personal hygiene item that does not immediately conjure a specific brand or set of brands. These products are so inextricably bound up in the culture posited by their advertising campaigns that convincing someone to change brands presents a real challenge. Try convincing a life long user or Irish Spring that they really ought to be bathing with Dove. You're liable to hear something like, "I ain't washing with something what share a name with a chocolate." Smythe pretty clearly explains that this brand loyalty is a result of targeted advertising which establishes "in the worker's consciousness (1) the existence of a "problem"...(2) the existence of a class of commodities which will solve that problem, and (3) the motivation to give top priority to purchasing brand X of that class of commodities in order to "solve" that "problem" (12).

However, I would be inclined to argue that this loyalty is even more pronounced in when it comes to hygiene products because the effect of the product is immediately evident on the body. No one can tell, just by talking to me, what kind of blender, computer, or underwear I have, unless of course that is the subject of the conversation. What they can tell is that I smell like Dial -- the yellow kind -- at least most of the time.

This brings me to Listerine, a brand which literally invented a problem in order to market itself as a solution. This is not to say that bad breath didn't exist before the 1920s, but "halitosis," a scare term applied to bad breath, did not. Originally sold as a cleaning solution, a cure for

 "infectious dandruff," and a remedy for colds, Listerine did not become a household name until it the word halitosis was invented. Within a matter of years, bad breath went from a being widely accepted "fact of life" to a symptom of bad hygiene with the potential to "ruin your life." Listerine ads struck at the heart of human insecurity, featuring women who worried, "Can I be happy with him in spite of that?" One in particular, from a 21 July 1928 issue of Collier's Magazine reads, "Halitosis may get you discharged: Employers prefer fastidious people...halitoxics not wanted." Listerine saw its revenue jump 7,000% in less than a decade and today has spun itself off into a number of other products. Though it can no longer legally claim to alleviate cold symptoms or clean as well as flossing, Listerine has proven effective in fighting gingivitis and plaque. However, the main thrust of its advertising campaign is, to this day, that it 'kills the germs that cause bad breath." I would argue that this function of the product is privileged above all others because it immediately presents itself on the body of the consumer. Unless you're a doctor, you are much more likely to notice someone's coffee breath than you are to diagnose their gum disease, and that is the primary reason people buy and use Listerine. And remember, twice a day, everyday.